My blog is up and running, and to be completely honest… I don’t much care for blog writing, but I’m going to try and get something interesting, fun and hopefully humorous up once a week.
Badass Acting took me nearly three years to write. It went through no less than nine separate edits, and STILL I’m finding typos and places where I could pare down my wordiness. I mention this because I should give my readers fair warning: while I’ll do my best to catch typos and grammatical errors, my writing style for my blog is going to pretty much be in the realm of first draft laziness. Just that last sentence reeks of first-draft sloppiness, but I’m too fuckin lazy to go back and fix it. The point being, while my blog entries will be readable, you’ll have to forgive them for not being particularly stylish.
My blog entries might not always be about acting for the stage — in fact, they might not always be about acting. For instance, I’m sorely tempted to write the story about how a faulty submersible de-icer nearly killed my prized goldfish in my pond the other day and share it with you on this post.
Seems like I’m well under way with this story, so I guess I might as well tell it…
With no thought about it being a faulty product, I inserted a de-icer in my fish pond (in preparation for east coast winter temperatures) and left for the day. When I came home later that night, I noticed about a dozen of my gold fish floating on their sides on the bottom of the pond near the unit. I thought they were all dead, but thank God it turns out they were only stunned. This was probably caused by a short circuit in the de-icer unit. I pulled the faulty piece of shit out of the water, and after awhile the fish were back to normal.
Are you wondering how I might tie an actual acting lesson in with this weird anecdote? It’s not that much of a stretch. When awful things happen to you, it is incumbent on you as an actor to tune and be aware of how you’re feeling in that very moment. The best actors train themselves to do it, no matter how happy or horrid might be the situation. I am used to automatically chronicling my emotional reactions in the moment when forceful events occur; I observed my feelings about seeing my (presumably dead) goldfish lying lifeless at the bottom of my pond and noted how odd an emotion it was.
It was a feeling that I’m not sure I’ll ever have occasion to use on stage, but maybe I will: it was a shallow feeling of grief and sadness — “Oh God… what have I done to you…” But nowhere near so powerful a feeling as, perhaps, it would be had I found my dad lying facedown at the bottom of the pond. A tepid sorrow, I guess that’s how I’d put it. Perhaps one day I will have a need to access the emotion of tepid sorrow for use on stage or in front of the camera. And now I have a sense memory of that very emotion on hand; it wasn’t a crippling emotion, but it sure as hell is one I’ll never forget!